My husband and I have been together 15 years, and we still don’t know everything there is about relationships. Life changes pretty quickly and often, so we continue to learn and adjust to these changes together. No matter the current life situation, there are a few things that we both make a point NOT to do. These types of things work to push us apart rather than together. If you make a habit of doing these things in your relationship, eventually that divide between you and your spouse will grow to where it can’t be bridged. Of course, we are only human, and sometimes we do things that push our spouses away. However actively trying not to do them helps to minimize how often these divides occur!
5 Things to Stop Doing to Better Your Relationship:
Stop being dishonest.
Honesty is the best policy. Being honest in a respectful and considerate way is the best way to be assured that everyone is on the same page. The foundation of trust in a relationship can be shaken by telling half-truths and omitting the truth for your benefit. And as we all know, trust is difficult to rebuild once broken.
One of the best advantages of a loving spousal relationship is that you can be vulnerable with your spouse. To build trust and emotional intimacy, openly and honestly share with your spouse your feelings, what you need, and what’s important to you.
Stop jumping to conclusions.
Sometimes instead of actually listening to what our spouses are saying, we jump to conclusions before hearing them out. We have preconceived ideas of why they did whatever they did without asking them first. My husband and I try our best to ask questions with an open mind. Then we try to listen to each other. We try to put ourselves in the other person’s shoes. Doing this shows respect and concern for each other as people.
Stop saying “I told you so.”
We all know this doesn’t help any situation. It might make us feel better to say we were right, but really, what good is being right when being obnoxious about it?! There’s no need to rub salt in the wounds. No one likes to hear a bitter I told you so. And if you do like to hear that phrase said to you, please let me know. I’d like to have your number on speed dial for when I have the urge to say it.
Stop giving the cold shoulder.
No one likes to feel unimportant. Ignoring a person brings about those feelings as well as a disconnect between both parties. My husband is an equal in our relationship, and I should have the courtesy to communicate with him. If I need time to collect my thoughts before talking in depth with him, I can tell him that respectfully instead of actively ignoring him. And once I am ready to talk, then we can work through our problems together as a team.
Stop comparing your relationship to others.
Comparison is the thief of joy. Cliché but true. You never know what other couples do behind closed doors. But you do know what your relationship is like behind closed doors. When you pair together two people, each with their own strengths and weaknesses, you will have problems and disagreements. There will be unhappy moments along with the good times. Comparing your problems to someone else’s does not fix your own problems. Resolving to work on your own marriage problems is a step in the right direction. Water your own grass instead of worrying about how green the neighbor’s grass looks.
Some of those are easier to stop than others! What do you think? Let me know in the comments!