I have to admit that I’ve heard of love languages, but I never thought a lot about them. Honestly, the concept sounded kind of gimmicky to me. In a nutshell, the idea is that there are five love languages as follows:
This love language thrives on gifts given in thoughtfulness. Giving the perfect gift lets a person with this love language to know you really know them.
This love language requires undivided attention. Giving your all without distractions is very important to a person with this love language.
This love language is all about being touchy-feely with their partner. Hugs, kisses, caresses, and even holding hands excites a person who speaks this love language.
Words of Affirmation
A person with this love language wants to hear compliments and loving positive words about himself/herself. This person needs to hear what you love about them and why.
Acts of Service
This love language is all about showing that you care by being thoughtful and helpful. A person with this love language feels happiest when their partner keeps commitments, helps with workloads, and serves others.
When I decided to focus on love for the month of February, I figured it wouldn’t hurt to look into my love language and my husband’s love language too! I took a quiz found here, where you receive a score in each love language, with 12 being the highest.
My scores were as follows:
Physical touch – 8
Words of affirmation – 8
Acts of service – 7
Quality time – 6
Receiving gifts – 1
Let’s start with the love language in which I had the lowest score: receiving gifts. That score does not surprise me at all. Several years ago, I got mad at my husband for surprising me with a beautiful diamond necklace. I know he meant well in his heart, and of course diamonds are supposed to be a girl’s best friend, as the saying goes. But all I could think about was how our money could be spent on something better than a rock that I wear on a chain around my neck. (Disclaimer: I say that, but y’all best believe that necklace is one of my very favorites. I wore it daily for years, no matter what I planned on doing during the day. I felt obligated to wear it every day until my death to get its money’s worth.)
My scores are fairly evenly spread among the remaining four love languages. This makes sense to me. I love for my husband to give me undivided attention with quality time. And I love for my husband to do any sort of act of service that reduces my responsibilities. Yes, I want my husband to tell me he loves me and hear why. And yes, I want my relationship to have many little intimate touches throughout the day. Who doesn’t want all of those things?!* And I want all of those things equally as much!
*I have met people who do not like to be touched, and because of these people, I can understand some people do not care about physical touch. However, I don’t know anyone who wouldn’t want undivided attention or help around the house or to hear sincere compliments.
(Side note: I am a touchy-feely person, and I talk with my hands. I actively try to keep my hands to myself. So if I am having a conversation with you and you are one of those people who do not like to be touched by others, please protect yourself by standing further than an arm’s length away from me! :))
I made my husband take the quiz as well. His love language scores were similar to mine. Maybe that is why we get along so well?! His highest score was in physical touch with a 10, followed by words of affirmation with an 8. Then quality time and acts of service, with a 6 and a 5 respectively. His lowest score was on receiving gifts with a 1, just like me. I’m glad we both don’t care about gifts. I guess we both subscribe deeply to the old adage: The best things in life are free. 🙂 And at the very least, maybe we save a little money by not caring about gift-giving?!
All in all, I wasn’t surprised by any of my scores or my husbands, but now I know for certain that my husband loves my touchy-feely-ness. That being said, the love languages web site did have additional information that is worth perusing if you have spare time. I’ve requested the book from the library, so I’ll repost once I read the actual book. I’m hoping that I’ll learn more from the book than from the limited information on the web site!
Take the quiz and have your partner take it too. It’s a nice little activity to do together and discuss after the kids are in bed for the night. A sort of mini-date. 🙂 Maybe you will learn something new about each other! If you’ve read the book already, let me know in the comments what you learned!